The Company You Keep

It has dawned on me,

The importance of the people you surround yourself with

When you’re young, you have a need to be around people and even if your personalities aren’t so compatible. I remember being in middle school and not so much caring about the type of people I spent my time with, but just the fact that I had people to hang out, eat lunch with and so forth was good enough.

Of course, as your grow older, situations unfold in various ways and forces you to open your eyes to what matters.

After these pre-teen years, you come to a point where you no longer care about the amount of people who’s around you. In fact, you’d rather spend time alone than to spend it with unproductive or even toxic company.

If you’re constantly spending your time with people who aren’t working hard to make things happen or make their lives better, then where do you stand?

We all go through different phases with different people, and it’s always a learning experience. But, if you want to get ahead, expand your horizons, and make those dreams of yours come true, you can’t be in the company of people who don’t feel the adrenaline rush as you do. The ones who don’t reevaluate themselves to perfect their characters (or at least try), take risks, and strive for what is important to them.

Other people have the power to constrain you, if you allow them.

They have the power to belittle your dreams and efforts, but it is up to you, if you will diminish those dreams of yours or build them stronger and better. 

Here’s where I was going with this, your company defines you.

Say what you will, but take some time to reflect on who you spend most of your time with, why you choose to, what you mostly talk about, and how you feel when you are with them.

Be honest with yourself, you owe yourself that much.

When Things Don’t go as Planned

It isn’t easy to plan, but once you do have a vision and create a plan towards achieving this newfound vision, it can be difficult when things don’t fall into place.

Things don’t always fall into place. 

It’s true and you and I need to accept it. I’m personally going through a few hurdles of my own at this time, where I had a concrete plan that unraveled very differently than I had planned. It made things hard, it invaded when I had no idea, and it is sure a test of patience. When things don’t go our way, it’s very easy to think it’s because you aren’t good enough and your goals weren’t concrete enough and if ONLY you had done that really great thing at that really great time.

Get over it. 

It doesn’t men to give up, but it means get over the fact that your plan didn’t work out and move forward creating a different plan. What puts me at ease is my faith. My faith teaches that everything that happens has a purpose, whether I have come to understand it or not. Perhaps I’ll understand it next week, perhaps next year. Perhaps this is a testament of patience and a doorway to a new opportunity.

Perhaps this is your wake up call. 

The truth is, things have come pretty easy (for the most part) and the hardship I’m now facing is pushing me to take charge.

The way I see it? You’ve got 2 options

1. Sulk 

2. Do something about it 

I’m finding it difficult to move past the fact that what I had planned for myself is no longer going to work the way I thought it would. It’s normal to be disappointed and discouraged, so allow yourself to feel it for a little while. However, do not linger on feelings that will not benefit you.

After this short period, figure out all your options. Prioritize them from first to second to third choice and so forth. Next, speak to someone. I know, it’s difficult to open up to someone else and be vulnerable about what you may call failure. Speak to someone you trust and confide in.

But remember, what you choose is always your choice alone.

Now that you have a plan, write it out. Having it on paper, making it visual (check out my older Mood Board post), and seeing it often will remind you to work for this. There are always other ways and sometimes when we’ve been holding on to a certain and specific way, it can be difficult to acknowledge that.

Use this time to grow. 

For me, it’s increasing my faith, patience, and ideas for where I will take my future. Take control, but most importantly, don’t give up because once you’ve given up on your own self, who else will believe in you? Perhaps my hardship can bring you some ease, relief, or just a thought to ponder on.

Get up and get working.

Your Mood Board

Visuals are powerful. 

It’s true that visual cues help us to remember and retrieve information better than words. Words are abstract and is therefore more difficult for the brain to retain. Visuals have a way of allowing us to remember by associating ideas and memories with imageries.

An example

Just the other day, I was going through my old pieces of writing and found written pieces I wrote for my campus newspaper. Not only did this intrigue me to write more and question why I stopped, but it reminded me of the enjoyment I got from writing. I wanted to have my pieces of writing somewhere to remind me, to inspire me… thus, The Mood Board.

All you need is a bulletin board that can be found at your local craft store. If you’re creative, you can spray paint it to rid yourself of the traditional bulletin board image. Along with your board, you will need… visuals.

This can be tokens of work that reminds you of your goals and dreams. It can be quotations if you’re a wordy person, or just pictures of places you’ve been, places you want to go to, things you’ve done and things you once day wish to accomplish.

It’s your board, design it to your own liking.

Plan how you will like to have it arranged and use thumb tacks to set  everything into place. I suggest you hang it somewhere you’ll see it everyday, such as your office or bedroom.